Tanklad: Bloodbath in Australia

Last post!

2009-07-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks for joining me for the ride!

My adventures were many, but its all come to an end now!

Well, not really, but I'm too depressed about not being there anymore to share with it on this blog!

Photos will be plenty on facebook, rest assured.

Anyway, if you're in Chicago, come rock out with me at the first Grant Park movie on Tuesday the 14th!

-peace-

Darling Harbor and the Water Front

2009-06-27T16:57:00.000-07:00

So! Darling Harbor.

Pretty much the Sydney equivalent to Navy Pier. It has clubs, bars, restaurants, entertainment things, cruises, basically everything a high rolling tourist requires.

Points of interest include:

The Ferris Wheel

The Chinese Gardens

The World's Largest Imax Screen

Sydney Aquarium and the Sydney Wildlife World

and also this thing:

Not much more to say about it?

Here are some random photos from walking most of the entire waterfront of the city.

RUSSEL CROW'S HOUSE.

Also, I designed a hoodie for my dorm.

...my time left here is short...

A Successful Exhibition at a Haunted Club

2009-06-26T21:57:00.001-07:00

So. I'm a little behind, aren't I?

I've still got over a week of blog material, but I have 3 days left here...

Between studying and the exhibition, and goodbye parties, I've neglected you all, eh? I'll update this while in the US until I have no more material!

ANYWAY, the exhibition at World Bar! World Bar was located in King's Cross in Sydney, which is basically their club/red light district.

This'll only make sense if you've been reading Australian news~

Anyway, World Bar was a classy place. Pretty trendy as far as clubs go. One of the organizers said that it was haunted. The place used to be a brothel, but the room upstairs from the gallery used to host the more... dangerous requests. Apparently alot of guys died in the process, and ghosts are supposedly rampant. HAUNTED CLUB?? The room had a fake bookcase put in front of it, and its used for private functions. It was closed off the whole night, unfortunately.

I pretty much had 4 days to make 16 pieces, so some things were recycled from old shit. However, I accidentally came upon a new, previously unawakened aspect of my art soul that will definitely come in handy with the 09/10 Gargoyle year! I'm kind of sad I sold some of the pieces, I secretly wanted to keep some of them :(

The turnout was small, since I was competing with a HUGE rugby game and a Ghostface Killah concert. However, alot of my Aussie buddies turned up, and thats all I need honestly! It was a blast!

Well, to all my Australian readers, most of you might already be gone from Basser or whereever, but I want to let you know that these four months wouldn't have been nearly as great without you guys. STAY CLASSIC.

Sorry Guys

2009-06-23T10:30:00.001-07:00

I'm not coming back.

I've opened a restaurant using the last of my savings and I'm staying here.

In other news, this solo exhibition thing is driving me nuts.

I've only got 16 small paintings to throw, and I've got no idea if that can even fill up the gallery space. It doesn't help that I have an exam the next morning after the exhibition that I am pretty much clueless on.

BUT SERIOUSLY. I'm going to be judged by hundreds of people based on my art in one of the biggest clubs in Sydney. I'm fucking terrified of that shit.

I've pretty much been locked in my room for the past 4 days doing nothing but painting and studying.

This is why I didn't go to art school. I need to pace myself at one drawing every 100 years, not 16 in four days.

Nightmare Land

2009-06-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Oh God.

Oh God.

OH GOD.

I stumbled across Luna Park while perusing the downtown bay with some friends. It was always visible from most points of the waterfront, but I never imagined it to be this terrifying up close.

Its pretty much a typical old timey amusement park, with an extra hint of HORROR. The rides weren't too shabby, but the prices were a little ridiculous.

Interesting snippit I found off of Wikipedia:
"During the Second World War, Luna Park was a magnet for servicemen; both those treating their girlfriends to a night out, and those looking to meet someone. The park's external lights were 'browned out' in case of a Japanese sneak attack on Sydney, the neon lights were disconnected, and non-essential uses of electricity (primarily for ride facades) were curtailed. The influx of servicemen drew prostitutes to the area,and large-scale brawls were a common occurrence - usually between Australian home defence troops and American sailors on shore leave."

On a side note, I learned in my Australian history course that American and Australian servicemen would get into huge fights all the time. There was supposedly a huge brawl between thousands of servicemen on the streets of Brisbane during WWII. Fights were sparked over the fact that American servicemen flaunted their higher wages over Australian servicemen, and that American servicemen were seducing all the local women. This sparked the phrase, "Overpaid, oversexed, and over here".

I think only the third bit applies to me at this point in time...

Christ, I hate clowns.

Ugh

2009-06-20T04:43:00.000-07:00

I still have so much to do.

One last wave of postcards, closing my student banking account, swinging by the study abroad office, finish the paintings, study for my last exam, preparing for a road trip...

And then there's this blog :[

It's times like this that I wonder why I give myself so much work. Am I a work-a-holic? Do I enjoy being stressed and tied up all the time??

Lets all just get together for the Grant Park movie Tuesdays and chill out when I get back.

I'll try to update the blog with a real post before I call it a night if I have leftover time...

The Royal Botanical Gardens and Bats

2009-06-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

...or more appropriately, the Royal Botanical Gardens and Bats and Bats and even more Bats (oh my goodness!)

Warning, the first part of this post deals with the garden. Skip to the second half for BATS.

THE GARDENS. They're pretty much on the side of the city, and stuff. Not much to say, besides it was quaint. Tis the dead of the Australian winter, so it wasn't particularly colorful. Pretty massive for what it was, it stretched along the harbour for a good run.

Also, they had a Wollemi pine, which was thought to had been extinct for 200 million years until they found one in a gorge. They used to keep it in a cage, for the purposes of theft prevention or, much more realistically, the hopes that it would not be able to run away.

Do not play with the cycads.

There was also bamboo, into which declarations of love were carved. What, the Wollomi pine wasn't good enough for you?

Ok thats enough plants, BATS.

THERE WERE SO MANY BATS. It was crazy, apparently they just chill in the gardens until nightfall. It reminds me of my irrational childhood love of bats. There are some bats that chill around the tree outside of my window at night, but I mean SHIT LOOK AT ALL THESE BATS.

I MEAN LOOK AT ALL THESE BATS. I want to ride upon a giant fig driven by hundreds of bats tied to it!

I CAN stop here, because Australia is BAT COUNTRY.

Buskers

2009-06-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

...busker?

It sounds like a type of migrant field worker. There's alot of stupid words in the big book of American linguistics, but 'busker'? Really?

The following buskette was singing "Rock and Roll All Nite", but from the five minutes a friend and I were watching her sing, it seemed that all she knew was the chorus.

Essentially, her performance was,

"I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day"

(Sorry about the weak post, I spent 15 hours today doing paintings for my exhibition and I'm tirrrrrrrrrrrrrred)

Things Australians Say Wrong #5

2009-06-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

Ah, I seem to have not covered the Opera House yet.

Well, I'm not going to do one of their extremely overpriced tours, but I think I have way too many photos of the damn building anyway. I mean, somehow everytime I travel through downtown Sydney, I end up near the Opera House.

On that note, here is another list of things Australians say wrong.

Central Business District (CBD) = Downtown
Busk = Street Performing (Apparently a real word?? I refuse to believe this!)
Uni = University (I've actually taken a liking to saying uni)
Jumper = Hoodie
Goon = Box Wine
Piss = Grog = Alcohol
Pissed = Drunk = Angry
Piss Off = GTFO
Colour = Color
Labourer = Laborer
Harbour = Harbor
Aluminium = Aluminum

To all the Australians reading this blog: One of you said that it sounds like I'm just bashing Australians, but I'm not. I'm just providing a humorous perspective to your backwards nonsense ways to my filthy American friends and family members.

AT ANY RATE, HERE ARE A MILLION PHOTOS I TOOK OF THE OPERA HOUSE.

This is a view from the Harbour Bridge

This IS the Harbour Bridge

and THIS is the Opera House lit up for the VIVID festival going on in Sydney. Its a big event with big concerts, art shows, and the like.

The images changed every five minutes, and the images were projected from this huge thing from all across the bay.

Cooler than the projections on the antennas of the Sears Tower. But only a little bit cooler...

Lets see, I still have to cover the Chinese Gardens, the waterfront, the Harbour Bridge, and a whole bunch of other shizzz.

Sydney Graffiti

2009-06-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

7 days to make 12 paintings! D-do you think I can do it??

I named my exhibition "You Smell Nice", since its a line used in one of my paintings and I couldn't think of anything else. Was that a bad idea? :<

Taking a Break!

2009-06-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

No more posts this weekend!

I've got to study for an exam on Monday and try to figure out how the hell I'm going to get all my paintings done in time for the exhibition...

Until then, enjoy watching this clever seal doing this marvelous trick.

The Zoo!

2009-06-11T02:02:00.001-07:00

Yes, the zoo.

But before that, here's a notice to all the Australians reading this blog!

The World Bar at King's Cross will be hosting my artwork in an opening exhibition on the 24th! Keep your calenders open! It should be a blast! If you have your Club VIP card, entry should be free and your Pokit Pals should also save you money on drinks. I think champagne will be served to gallery visitors as well! Just get really drunk and buy my art OK?

ANYWAY. THE ZOO.

Taronga Zoo was across the bay from the Opera House, but ferries traversed the watery path. Tributes must be made to Sydney's guardian, the Fish Bishop, lest you incur his wrath upon your vessel.

One of the cool things about the zoo was that to get into the park after coming ashore, you had to take this weird lift up which gave you a cool arial view of the whole park.

HERE'S WHAT I SAW.

Oh, did I mention I saw KANGAROOS? It was the first time I saw a living kangaroo (with wallabies present as well). Every other kangaroo I saw was either made into a hat, on a pizza, or in two pieces on the side of the road. You can feel the sheer intensity of the moment in the next immediate photo.

I'll finish this off with some interesting educational displays I saw.

BONDI BEACH..!

2009-06-10T03:28:00.000-07:00

...WAS COLD AND RAINY.

To be fair, it was a spur of the moment decision to go made by a friend and I after being done with the hellish water pump project and lectures in general.

On the other hand, the weather made the beach look cool in it's own way. The rain storms in the distance and the violent waves were sweet, not to mention that it drove away alot of people so we basically had the beach to ourselves.

There were rock pools near the cliff, which were pretty neat. The water was too violent for anything to actually get swept into it, but signs of life were found.

It seems that all the main beaches are separated into bays by huge cliffs that just drop at the water. Seeing all these houses and buildings basically stacked up on each other is really neat, considering I was born and raised on completely flat ground my whole life. The cliff housing gets really hectic the closer you get to the bays downtown.

The day ended with the discovery of a stationary 'teacup ride' thing at a random playground.

And then I did this for a few minutes.

And thats the jist of it. I should try visiting this beach when its not miserable.

Gangsters and Wanksters

2009-06-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

So as I believe I have said earlier, Australia isn't really up on hip hop. Drawing from what limited things I've learned about society and things I've seen in crime in the news, it might be due to the fact that the idea of a slum or the PJs is just completely different here.

Other factors might be the fact that hip hop's primary demographic is an ocean or two away or that young Australians are just too up into their dance music at parties.

At any rate, it didn't stop the dorm I am living in from holding a gangster themed party back in May. In many ways, it was not dissimilar to the efforts or perceptions of the rural or suburban whitey of the US. Lets see how Australia compares?

The decorations seemed to be up to typical standard, with typical thug mantras and Scarface posters carefully placed in the facility.

Here is a memorial to Tupac, adorned with food offerings for his spirit in the afterlife.

The costumes were interesting. The white t-shirt look, the tracksuit, and the cholo look were absent, while it seemed that the Australian white-trash look was more prominent. Sheer ridiculousness was nice to see. An A will be given for effort.

The party was BYO, but I was very disappointed in Australia's lack of 40s. I mean really. The drink of choice was typically box wine, which does the job just fine I suppose. After a while the sharpie monster inside me burst forth...

The music started off as the hip hop hit parade, but slowly went from that to dance music because Australians can't seem to ween themselves off of it. Oh well, when in Rome, do as the lions do.

Peace out dogs, the actual sightseeing posts will start tomorrow.

Lazy Post

2009-06-08T02:33:00.000-07:00

Damn.

Just got back from six hours of trekking the mean streets of Sydney with my thug crew. Today's post is gonna be lazy, deal with it.

May 24th was the Sydney Zine Fair at the Museum of Contemporary Art, and it was pretty kickass. Just a big group of people who made books about random shit or filled with random art. Zines about donuts, zines filled with found family photos, zines for people who love unicorns (or the 50-centaur); I've got to admit, my reading gland was rock'med and sock'med.

Also making a guest appearance was "Girls are Made of Robots"! Which looked like complete shit next to all the great stuff I saw! Kudos for my friend who had a table and sold my books there.

Don't forget that "Happy Little Hamburgers" will (hopefully) be coming out by the end of the year! Grab your ankles, because it's coming for YOU.

Other things of interest:

The Femme Fatale exhibition at the Justice and Police Museum. Went on a trip with my Australian history course, and learned all about the history of female pimps, prohibition liquor ladies, and knifey chicks in general. The old movie posters and a small display about The Spirit were also a nice touch.

Oh, and also, a tree that dispensed tissues. I filled my whole messenger bag up with these tissues on the way back from the zine fair. Superb.

Eating Ice Cream... FOR AMERICA

2009-06-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

This was from the Ice Cream eating challenge the dorm I'm living at hosted. 4 liters of ice cream within an hour, working with the average human stomach capacity of 1.5 liters. You must vomit to victory! I was a wimp and decided to just eat my fill in ice cream :>

AT ANY RATE.

The semester is over! Lectures and tutorials are finished, and all my projects and papers are handed in. With a month left until I take that big bird back to the US, I'm gonna have to make the most of the time I've got left here!

At the same time, I haven't been treating you guys well at all! Between my papers and projects, the fun had was few and far between each other.

I'll be updating every day (with minor exceptions near exam time) with the adventures I've had and the adventures I continue to have. The word of the day is 'dedication'!

Let me show you what kept me from whispering my sweet nothings in your ears these past two months! One of the larger assignments I had to do was a fairly long research paper on Australia's legislation and handling of Asians in the early 20th century (pretty interesting stuff, actually).

The other project was making this.

Its a water pump. It pumps water. And it was a bitch to design and make and I'm surprised it worked. We were given metal stock and had to do everything ourselves after that using the most terrifying industrial tools I've ever seen in my life.

Every Thursday from 5pm to 10pm, I had to travel to the other side of Sydney to work at a trade school with experienced machinists.

It was a pretty sweet class overall. Learned how to operate those death-machines and did a lot more than what I would've had done for the same class at UoM, so despite being worked to the bone I have no regrets!

Thats all for today, but tune in tomorrow at the same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

Of Shoes and Ships and Sealing Wax

2009-06-01T22:45:00.000-07:00

With things as they are in the US, and things as they are in Australia, I can't help but think that when I get on that plane back to the states that I'll be a rat boarding a sinking ship.

Sort your life out, US.

Things Australians Say Wrong #4

2009-05-17T21:41:00.001-07:00

Sorry for these dull posts, just bear with me for a while longer!

Bike Gang Member = Bikie

Australians have a nice way of making violent, brutal things sound cute.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/03/23/2523230.htm

Irony

2009-05-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

I am doing a research paper, and I wanted to check out a book titled Gold: Forgotten Histories & Lost Objects of Australia at the state library in downtown Sydney.

After waiting almost an hour for the attendant to retrieve the book, they came to me and said that they must have lost the book.

How ironic~

Australia to shoot 6,000 kangaroos

2009-05-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

All I wanna do is (bang bang bang bang!)
And (ka-ching!)
And take your money

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30639871/from/ET/

Come to think of it, I've yet to see a living kangaroo. I've found a kangaroo leather hat, I've eaten a kangaroo fillet pizza, and I've seen kangaroo roadkill on my journey through the Blue Mountains, but alas, not a living breathing specimen.

However, I will find one, and I will defeat it in unarmed combat.

All you need now are the chips

2009-05-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

(I spent 30 minutes trying to make blogger not shit up the colors and image quality on this drawing, but I give up!)

I forgot that international checks take 28 days to clear, which would mean that if I wanted money to spend, I should have done the whole check thing 28 days -before- I spent all but $8 in my Australian student account.

So here I am, poor and dry. I've got some emergency cash to live on, but between supplies I'll have to buy for a machining course I'm doing, going out and seeing the city will probably be a no-no until I get dat cheese in my account.

Also, between projects and exams and essays, I wouldn't be able to go out even if I had money.

DO WORK. GET PAID.

When I DO get more lettuce and time, here's whats gonna go down:
-Sydney Zine (self published book) Fair
-Taronga Zoo
-Bondi Beach
-Sydney Opera House
-Architecture Tour
-Uluru Rock/Outback exploration?? (if I have time at the end of my semester)

Also, what do YOU want to see from Sydney? Ask, and I shall sleuth it out!

I'll work hard and party harder, this is my promise to you all.

:(

2009-05-01T08:45:00.001-07:00

:(

EDIT: cuz o' tests, exams, and projects. fo'got to mention that

GHOST TRAIN!!!

2009-04-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

C'mon, c'mon, c'mooooooooooooooooooooon [GHOST TRAIN!]

Ghost Train by the Gorillaz is the mandatory song that should be playing on your iPod whenever you are riding a train.

That aside, I rode the Sydney rails for the first time today!

Interesting facts!

The buses and trains in Sydney run on an EXACT schedule as per the time tables posted at each stop. I don't mean 'Chicago accurate', IE they stop within an hour of the posted time. I mean DOWN TO THE MINUTE. I haven't heard of a case where the buses or trains were late where they had no real reason to be late.

However, this tends to be a bad thing, since I tend to miss the bus by 30 seconds on the listed time, making me feel like a loser. If I missed a bus in Chicago, I'd blow it off because those buses only come around when they feel like it.

Damn, you have more of a chance seeing a ghost train at a Chicago bus stop than you do seeing an actual CTA vehicle.

Also, toilets are provided at every station. This is not only important for passengers, but for the people who clean the trains as well. Being such a janitorial worker once upon a Chicago summer, I can't stress how important it is to provide the ignorant masses with restrooms aplenty.

Speaking about cleanliness, Sydney buses, trains, and stations are EXTREMELY clean. What's your excuse, Chicago?

Where I Live

2009-04-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

OK MOM. HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS OF WHERE I LIVE. DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY? DOES THIS PLEASE YOU??

lol j/k mom, u kno u my boo <3<3<3

Oh, and you can click on the images to see bigger versions of them, because I know you're as blind as a bat ;D

So I know I told you I'd be living in an apartment with an ocean view, but this is much better, because its closer to campus, the ocean isn't that far anyway, and only living with internationals in an apartment sounded like it would've sucked anyway. HERE IS BASSER COLLEGE.
Ahh, the atmosphere is amazing. Tropical trees everywhere and birds of paradise growing in the grass! Then you're lulled to sleep by the sound of terrifying birds screeching into your window and the sound of clinking bottles.

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS TEXT UNDERLINED? I don't care enough to change it, deal with it.

This is my room! I live alone, which is actually nice and relaxing. Alot more relaxing than living with a boy-shaped-chunk-of-shit like WADE. I hope that everytime I mention his name, he feels my disgust for his existence.

ANYWAY, this is where the magic happens!

Not much to say.

Here's a view of one of the many quads on campus. This one is cool because it has a GIANT SUNDAIL, which warrents yet again more CAPS LOCK.

The thing I like most about Basser, I think, is it's sense of humor and terrifying clown paintings.

Anzac Day & Australian Money

2009-04-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm taking an Australian history course here, and we learned about the Anzacs (Australian and New Zealand Army Corps). Today was a national holiday called Anzac Day, which commemorates their efforts at Gallipoli in Turkey during WWI. Some say that these battles marked the birth of Australia as a nation.

For more information about Gallipoli, watch the film of the same name starring Mel Gibson (c).

At any rate, we learned of the tragic losses that occurred and how there were grand memorials and events all over Australia for the Anzacs.

When I asked around my college, it was more recognized as the day when a gambling/drinking game called two-up is temporarily legalized in pubs.

Anzac day is a strange mix of mourning and drinking. I didn't partake in either due to a combination of being tired, drowning in coursework, and angry at my failure to attend a certain meeting. I tried to meet up people to attend a 3am memorial service, but they left before I could find them. So it goes.

Sydney is exhausting, and I haven't even been doing a whole lot. I wish I could sightsee more, but there isn't much more I can do besides going to the zoo and touring the opera house. I ask people, and they reply, 'There isn't anything to do in Sydney'. I refuse to believe this, but am also reminded of being asked the same question about Chicago every so often.

Oh, and have I told you how Australian currency looks like Monopoly money?

The photos don't do it justice. There are transparent parts and really little holographic things on them and they're just awesome overall. They're also inflammable, somewhat water resistant, and very hard to rip. That's what I call smart money! Australia also banished the penny, which apparently resulted in a huge boost to their economy. US, get on this.

Oh, and the 5 dollar note has a secret funny image when folded. Can you find it?

Things Australians Say Wrong #3

2009-04-23T05:58:00.000-07:00

(Wow, has the quality of my photos always been this bad after uploading?)

Yeah, Sydney is great and all, but all anyone ever wants to do is visit a pub or a club. Its fun occasionally, but my health, wallet, and soul can't take it anymore. I'm doing some serious sightseeing, with or without the natives.

ANYWAY, here's some slang to bite on.

'heaps' (really, alot, etc)
Example: That was heaps fun. (That was really fun)

'keen' (to like)
Example: I'm not too keen on that. (I don't really like that)
(Its a word used in the US, but the frequency of it's presence in normal conversation in Australia is... alarming)

'_____ as' (I don't even fucking know)
Example: That was sweet as! (That was really sweet)

The last one confuses the hell out of me, and I haven't found anyone who knows how it came to existence. Basically, you take an adjective of your choice and you follow it with 'as' without actually comparing it to anything.

NUTS.

Also, I was watching something random the other day and chickens were referred to as 'chooks'. Odd.

Mountain Jam [Departure]

2009-04-21T03:13:00.000-07:00

Ahh, breath in that fresh mountain air.

Ok, to Hell with this garbage where I just outline everything I did everyday. Short and sweet is today's motto. I'll post some photos and see if you can figure out what went on.

Our last adventure was a dark view off a cliff. Being the gentlemen we were, we used this opportunity to throw sticks and such down to the valley below.

Warning! Do not fall off cliff and die.

And then we left and I slept for a whole day and yeah here's some more random shit.

Mountain Jam [The Way a Man Lives]

2009-04-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Ahaha. That last post was shit, I'm sorry.

While the other foolish Americans were sucking on the bitter teet of the Australian and New Zealand tourism industry, we were having an epic adventure. Zorbing? Skydiving? Visiting huge rocks in the middle of the desert? This is not how a man lives.

THIS is how a man lives.

The famous mountain views were on the other side of the mountains, so our choices of fun activities were $60 cave tours, mushroom picking, or fishing. We chose the MANLIEST option.

We took with us only the essentials.

This was indeed a mighty catch, but surely worthy warriors such as we deserved a much better feast. And indeed, what is more of a king's feast than cornflake breaded chicken?

Although we brought our own beverages, it seems that the owner left his own special stock. The temptation was great, and unfortunately we resisted.

Oh, and we made a new friend that day. Meet Little Tim.

We ran across him near the lake, and he decided to follow our motley crew. Who are we to deny his friendship?

Unfortunately, the International Space Station was in danger of crashing into an orphanage, so Little Tim had to leave to save the day. Godspeed, Little Tim.

Mountain Jam [The Arrival]

2009-04-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

Well, the place was sweet. How could I tell it was sweet? It had a gate.

Second way I knew; the owner had a Big Mouth Billy Bass on the wall. Sweet, this guy was cool enough to buy one of those AND hang it up on the wall!

We also had fun with the other stuff he had lying about...

GO BLUERGHHRHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHURHURHURGH

Third indication, the place was in the middle of nowhere. Which is a big deal for me. Since I'm never in the middle of nowhere. Ever. We were in the middle of mountains where parrots, wombats, and kangaroos run around. Although, the only kangaroos and wombats I saw were roadkill. Hooray.

The weather was a little dull, but we still found things to occupy our vacation time. For now, lets skip to the next part.

Anyway, after our first day of merriment, we decided it was dinner time. However, the only things at the grocery store in the nearest one-horse town were powdered food mix and dog food. We managed to find a few cuts of steak and chicken, but today was powdered pasta and suspicious frozen garlic bread night!

After a meal fit for kings, we decided to end the night as kings as well. What better way to do this than a SLUMBER PARTY IN THE LIVING ROOM? We saw the Green Mile, although I voted for the Felix the Cat DVD we found under the TV.

ANYWAY THAT'S IT YEAH.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I have WORN THE UGG BOOT. Apparently guys wear them in Australia? But now I know why people would ever wear them at all... it's like walking on a field of SHEEP. The comfort and warmth is amazing, almost SINFUL.

I think that the girls of the US are ruining the reputation of ugg boots to keep them for themselves, so that anyone else who tries to wear them are exiled by society. Sheepskin boots are a natural right to every man, woman and child. CLAIM YOUR OWN JUSTICE by wearing the most COMFORTABLE GODDAMN THING ON EARTH.

One more thing. Heres a creepy horse that was staring at me during the longest red light I've ever lived through.

Mountain Jam [The Journey]

2009-04-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

EASTER.

Classes took a break and everyone was gone. After everything that happened in the past few weeks, it was time for a nice relaxing escape from UNSW. After a friend said that he was borrowing a small cottage in the mountains for a few days, the opportunity presented itself.

Mission: Get the fuck out of Sydney and breath in some sweet mountain air.

Meet the competitors.

"WE CAN'T STOP HERE, THIS IS KOALA COUNTRY."

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Our single step brought us to the front door of Rent-A-Bomb.

$35 a day for some shady car from the 80s that looks like it's held together with bubblegum and duct tape. Truly this is an ingredient for a good roadtrip.

However, after picking up the car and the key, we had to go up against the Sydney street system. It's as if it's designed to keep people in Sydney forever. It took us about 40 minutes to drive out of the city (probably 1.5 miles away from where we were originally?).

After that, we finally reached escape velocity and hit the country, where engineering homework and the trouble of being woken up by people walking back from pubs simply does not exist.
No time to stop for lunch, we're going for broke!

For a place where you don't see a living soul for tens of miles, there sure were alot of speed cameras.

Well, we got there. The place was SWEET. The owner traveled alot, and he had alot of cool stuff lying around his house. The views from the house weren't too shabby either. However, I'll save the details for the next post.

We unpacked carefully and called it a night afterwards, driving through mountains is tough shit!

I'll save the rest for later. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Reboot

2009-04-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok, no more slacking.

I'll get this blog up and running again. No more crybaby B.S.

Here's the deal.

I've been miserably busy for the past two weeks. I'll upload my adventures come next Wednesday (Tuesday in the US). Going to the mountains with a few blokes over Easter break, I'm sure I'll have a tale to tell afterwards.

Till then, heres a slice of the musical taste of Australia.

NOTE: The Australian music scene is pretty strange. While a bunch of American hiphop one-hit-wonders hit the Aussie charts, you really don't see much in terms of hiphop or rap here. On the other hand, dance and club music is VERY popular here, along with a hearty helping of rock music. It seems that they dig anything that they can dance along with~

Nusquam est melior quam a vita plurimus industrius

2009-04-05T16:56:00.001-07:00

On the Matter of Location

2009-04-03T20:54:00.001-07:00

Oh, I forgot

2009-03-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

Happy 100th Birthday, Gargoyle Humor Magazine

(And Sarah Choy)

Museum of Contemporary Art

2009-03-30T02:09:00.000-07:00

OK OK OK OK.

So as most of you know, I'm a dumb art nerd.

So I spent a Saturday afternoon downtown, finishing with a trip to the Sydney Museum of Contemporary Art on a friend's suggestion. I really want to do more sightseeing instead of hitting up all the pubs and clubs with everyone.

Those of you familiar with the MCA in Chicago should be as skeptical as I am about the quality of 'modern art'. However, Australian artists picked up the slack and I really enjoyed what I saw!!

Unfortunately, the best exhibition there was not by an Australian artist. Yayoi Kusama took the prize easily with her TRIPPY INSTALLATIONS. I'm actually hidden in the first photo of this post, can you find me??

I like artists like her. They do what they want and they have no pretentious background behind their works, aside from the fact that they're what they want to do in the way they want to do it. What's fun? What's cool? Go for it and don't think twice. That's all there is to it.

There was also a 'I Walk The Line: New Australian Drawing' exhibition which had alot of really great Australian artists posting some of their work. Superb.

MOST IMPORTANTLY is the knowledge that a ZINE EXCHANGE will be held in May.

I think Australia needs a few copies of GIRLS ARE MADE OF ROBOTS AMIRITE!???

Thanks to the Gargoyle for giving a copy of said book to DON HERTZFELDT while he was in Ann Arbor. I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSSS

'Senior/Freshies' Dates

2009-03-29T23:12:00.001-07:00

So here's the set up.

Seniors are students who stay in the same college (dorm).
Freshies are students who just started living in a college.

Get it straight!

WE HAD DINNER AT A VERY NICE RESTAURANT ON THE COLLEGE'S TAB.
IT WAS GOOD herehavesomebadphotos.

Twas a fun dinner, but you don't really get *how* fun it was from these photos. They're here more to emphasize how great my semester is so far.

GBBGGSP Day

2009-03-28T17:16:00.000-07:00

A holiday that the dorm I'm in celebrates.

Give a Boy some Beer, Give a Girl some Passion (fruit) Day.

This actually happened two weeks ago... I got some catching up to do with this blog.

Academia

2009-03-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

Classes here are cool, even though they're in the way of my super cool Australian getaway.

I'm taking an Australian history course, which is revealing alot of cool stuff and dirty laundry about Australia that I've never heard of before.
Then there's my Logic course, which is way too much of a jerkoff than I can tolerate.
Then there's my Circuitry course, which is scaring me to death.

The last and most interesting course would be my Design and Manufacturing course. I'm in a team for that class and we have to machine a piston/cylinder water pump, which is hella cooler than the University of Michigan course equivalent where we would've made a case for eyeglasses. The only problem is that I'm pretty sure my machine shop instructor hates me.

Story time! I was in the machine shop last week, doing a lathing assignment where accuracy had to be obtained within half a millimeter. I was doing something wrong, so my instructor thought it would be a good idea to sneak up behind me and yell in my ear while I was working on that part. I can't think of anything smarter to do while I'm working with a machine that can eat my hand.

Did you know that a semester here costs $10,000 AUD? And that the government gives loans that are interest free until a year after graduation to all students? And if you manage to pay any of it early your tuition is lower?

Wow, a government that encourages higher education? How backwards.

Also consider that the minimum wage here is $14.31, and they're trying to raise it too.

My uncle is reading my blog, and he's got the best screen name ever. But it makes me wonder who else is lurking through my blog~

Evidence

2009-03-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

The only existing photo of me during the 12 hour pub crawl from my first week in Sydney.

The costume theme was, "What you DON'T want to be when you grow up". I believe you can see a house bunny and a construction worker in the picture, and of course yours truly as a Border Patrol officer.

Were we going somewhere? Were we coming back from some place? Hell if I know, 12 hours of pubs can make your memory fuzzy.

Should I Buy This?

2009-03-21T19:45:00.001-07:00

I found this guy in the front window of a toy store in the Queen Victoria Building, which is a large shopping complex in the middle of the city.

Apparently it is called a Golliwog, made by American children's cartoonist/author Florence Kate Upton in the late 19th century. Her inspiration was, according to Wikipedia, a 'blackface minstrel doll'.

Interesting.

:X

2009-03-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sick as a dog <3 I've been getting no sleep at all this week, between St. Patrick's day and all my classes finally getting in gear. I've got a circuitry lab (in which I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing) and a manufacturing course that requires me to go across Sydney to a separate campus for a 4 hour machining course from 4:30 to 9:30 at night. I shouldn't be complaining though, since they are totally hands-on and awesome instead of just textbook nonsense like the classes I have been taking. ALSO. There is an engineering degree program here called mechatronics, which is basically all engineering fields in one. Alot of people enter this degree program focusing in on ROBOTICS. In fact, I've already met 5 people who want to do robotics with their degree, which is five more than I've met in the ME department back home. What the hell, America? Get on that shit, I can't make robotics on just a mechanical degree or an electrical degree. Stop telling me to make cars, and stop telling me to get a BUSINESS DEGREE. RAGE!!

The birds here are stupid! Look at this asshole!
This jerk wakes me up EVERY SINGLE MORNING 2 hours early before I need to get up. And he's not even the worst one! Apparently kookaburras EXIST. I thought they were just something made up for that stupid children's song! BUT NO, THEY ARE REAL. AND THEY SCREAM LIKE DYING CHILDREN.

But overall things are pretttty sweet. Minus the whole bird thing.

Things Australians Say Wrong #2

2009-03-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

When I was in elementary school, I remember something my English teacher told the class. She said that you can learn alot about a culture that uses a particular language if you notice how many different words they have for a singular concept. Specifically, languages spoken commonly by Eskimos are said to contain an extraordinary amount of words just for snow in it's various forms and situations. This was said to represent how important snow's presence was in their culture.
(However, upon further investigation for this update, this information all came from a hoax report made by some lazy linguistic. Check your sources next time, bbbitch)

Why did I introduce today's installment of Things Australians Say Wrong like this?

Because Australians have about 1,000 different words for being drunk.
'Maggot'
'Legless'
'Shickered'
'Pissed'

The list goes on for miles.

Surely, if the same rules apply as they supposedly did for the Eskimos, this doesn't mean that Australian culture is centered on fire water?

Lets review the photographic evidence from last night's St. Patty's celebration for a conclusion.

Conclusion: Australians are all drunk bastards. But that's why I love them :(

You're in the mix with DJ Adrian

2009-03-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

(This post is divided into two parts, the adventure and photos of the performances! Don't miss out on both!!)

So there was a benefit concert for the bushfires in Victoria and the floods in Queensland. For $75 (AUD), I had a pretty kickass time.

From 12pm to 10:30pm, the Sydney Cricket Ground was filled with bands I both knew and loved and some amazing Aussie bands I ain't ever heard of before. To top it all off, the Sound Relief concert in Melbourne (with a different lineup) synchronized with Sydney to broadcast a live feed of performances during stage changes!

I was stuck in the rear standing section for most of the concert, so I could only see a good view of the stage via huge screens. But it was cool, cuz us Basser boys were rockin' out.

Even though there were lame asses in the crowd like THESE TWO GIRLS SITTING ON THE FLOOR AT THE UPMOST PART OF THE SECTION DURING A PERFORMANCE. FFFFFFFUCK.

But it's cool, after some indirect heckling from us, they ate shit and died.

The Cricket Ground was PACKED. Front standing section seats were sold out within an hour of their release online, and the rear standing tickets were sold out not too long after that.

The weather was amazing during the first third of the concert. Perhaps... too amazing. Guess where I got that nasty sunburn?

Then the weather turned. The temperature dropped AT LEAST 10 degrees and it rained for about half an hour.

Then it was sunny again! AND THEN IT RAINED AGAIN. But it was okay!! Because just as it started to pour The Presets, the last major act (probably the most looked forward to of the show), took the stage! It was AMAZING.

There were some special hosts and appearances, like Kylie Minogue, Prince William, and Prince Hitler.

I really don't have the computer-mouth-words to describe how fun this all was, but you're going to have to believe me, ok? :(

ANYWHO, HERE WAS THE LINEUP. Or the performances that were worth sharing. Not a fan of Coldplay, but how can I not love them when they release ONE HUNDRED PANDA-SIZED BALLOONS into the stadium??

Anyway, if you haven't heard of any of these bands, check them out. They're amazing.

Coldplay (Guess which song they were playing during these photos)

Wolfmother (yay!)
Hoodoo Gurus
Little Birdy
Architecture in Helsinki (Like... if My Dear Disco and the B-52s had a child)

Josh Pyke
Eskimo Joe
Live Broadcast of Jack Johnson in Melbourne

JET
The Presets (They give off a slight radiation of awesome that interferes with electronics and prevents their photo from being taken directly)

Ice House
BARRY GIBS and THE GHOST OF OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN!?

In summary, I approve of Australian taste in music and their manner of rocking out. Even if they aren't too keen on Hip Hop.

2009-03-15T04:27:00.001-07:00

Oops

2009-03-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

Of Self Realization and Toilet Fluid Mechanics

2009-03-12T05:47:00.000-07:00

So I woke up this morning to the sound of kookaburra birds and accented 'hello's, and I realized something. I'm in AUSTRALIA.

It's weird. I'm completely overwhelmed. It's borderline terrifying. To add to this, alot of drastic things have happened in both Chicago and Ann Arbor while I was gone, meaning I won't exactly be welcomed with the old familiarity of things.

But I can't exactly do much about those things while I'm on this side of the planet. All I can do is whatever I can at 100%.

Let's make an earth sandwich. I'll hug this side, and you hug the other. Post a picture.

And now for the main event.

Personally, I am appalled and disgusted. All the toilets I have encountered thus far (which consist of only school and pub toilets) yeild the same inconclusive downward suction. Surely further research is required. I'm sure that somewhere, in the town of Come-and-Help-Yourself in this Rough-and-Ready land, there is a toilet that can tell us something more satisfactory.

A list of upcoming updates:
Sydney Mardi Gras Parade (In which Adrian has many embarrassing pictures)
Things Australians Say Wrong #2 (In which cultural linguistics are observed)
Miscellaneous Observation Cartoon Drawings (In which it won't happen until I find a scanner)
Things that can and will kill you in Australia #1 (In which the list is long)
Adrian Explores The Beach (In which he is getting a nice tan)
Sound Relief (In which 10 straight hours of well known bands shall rock the house)

Hahboar Crooze

2009-03-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

Classes started today! I only had Design and Manufacturing today, but maaaaan that was just enough to make me realize how inconvenient the English system is when everyone uses Metric. I can't guesstimate 100mm my way out of a wet paper bag.

BUT ANYWAY two weeks ago, we went on a harbor cruise on the bay. Aaaaaand here's how it all went down.

Although, a fast moving boat complemented with all the crappy Heineken you can drink is a bad combination for photography~

And then everyone went inside and danced.

And then people danced on the campus sculptures on the way back to the dorm.

This dancing thing. It might become a problem.

"Things Australians Say Wrong" #1

2009-03-07T23:15:00.000-08:00

Here's another featured part of my blog! It's called "Things Australians Say Wrong". Obviously, since they say SO MANY THINGS wrong, this will be an ongoing installment!! Accompanied sometimes will be a short story on how I discovered their linguistic wrongdoings.

OK READYSETGO.

Flip Flops = Thongs

American = Sepo (Apparently because Septic Tank rhymes with 'Yank'. Yeesh, a little harsh for a country we haven't invaded or 'liberated' yet.)

'Z' (the letter) = 'Zed' (I found this out when I asked for the combination to a locked room in the dorm. For some reason, I just assumed 'Zed' meant that you had to type in Z, E, and D. It took me about 40 minutes before someone passed and corrected me.)

Breakfast = Brekkie (Because all of Australian slang is basically baby talk.)

THAT'S ALL YOU GET.

In other news, classes start tomorrow, and I'm stuck with a whole box of wine I couldn't bring to a parade yestarday :(

Ok so yeah

2009-03-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

OK OK, I admit the last post was weak as shit. But please just come back home, baby needs you.

I'm happy to announce the first Letter to the Editor for the Tanklad blog!

This one comes from my mommy! God bless her soul.

(regarding the post made on February 25th)

hi Adrian

FYI: they are commonly called "moobs" not man tits.

Love

yomama

Gee thanks mom, but I just don't see the grace in this!!

In other news, I am here and you are not.

These are my feet, probably the only parts of my body in which I take pride. Unfortunately I completely forgot to put sun tan lotion on my back, and I am completely burnt on that side.

Also, I found this typical kickass surfer van on my way from the beach. This will be my future dream car, which will compliment my dream home which consists of a giant bouncy castle with a ball pit in the living room.

On another side note, whenever I see a really cool vehicle, the first thing I think about is how it would look like in robot form if it were a transformer. I'm sure this one would just be a 2 story tall, chrome plated android of John McCrea from Cake.

I woke up this morning, and what did I see?

2009-03-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

A totally real photograph I took this morning. Can you find the hidden banana in the photo???

2009-03-02T02:06:00.000-08:00

Heeeeeeeeeeere's to ADRIAN, he's true blue,
Heeeeeeeeeeee's a wanker through and through,
Heeeeeeeeeeee's a bastard so they say,
TRIED TO GO TO HEAVEN BUT HEWENTTHEOTHERWAY!!!

So now my mom is reading my blog? That's pretty cool.

Does YOUR mom read YOUR blog? DIDN'T THINK SO.

Taking this into consideration, I will now post pictures of last night's Jelly Wrestling.

Whatta beautiful audience!

AND THEN THE FIGHT.

THE CHALLENGER!!

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

THE NATIVE OPPONENT.

HAUGHUGAUGHGAGUHGAUGH I LOST :( .

Then we danced.

-The End-

Ohmigosh

2009-03-01T03:11:00.000-08:00

Australia MELTED.

I didn't do it :[

The Goings

2009-02-28T03:37:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tell you, you guys can click the images to see bigger versions of them. If ya'll didn't already know.

So apparently all Australian universities have something called "O-week", where the week before the start of the semester is dedicated to drinking, dancing, and public nudity. Which reinforces my theory that Australians are just Americans, except they do everything better.

Events included:
Waking up at 6 in the morning to make us run around in circles.

A 'bush dance', the Australian equivalent of an American barn dance, except everyone moves so fast that no camera known to man can catch a clear image of the motions.

A scavenger hunt all throughout downtown Sydney. The videos before were from the hunt!

Some of the things we needed to do and some extra rules:
-Get the entire team into a strip club
-Swap clothes with a school kid. Bonus points for stealing his/her shirt if it is nicer than yours.
-Get a quote for "gooch wax" inside "The Victoria Beauty Salon"
-Dance like "the land is your mother" to the Aboriginal performers.
-Stage a purse snatching on a member's handbag on the steps of an establishment.
-Get a tattoo.
-Nudity will ALWAYS be rewarded.
-Any encounter with another team after 12:30pm must result in a match of strip chicken.

Unfortunately, all the other teams did the fun stuff while we were just big dumb lames.
Here's a picture of our team asking an old lady where the nearest strip club is for one of the hunt items.

Oh and also this

There was also a cruise on the bay, which was most excellent. There's a bit of photos from that, so I'll just post that on the next post or some shizzz.

School starts in a week!

TH-THERE'S A BURGER ON THE WING!!

2009-02-26T21:40:00.000-08:00

I'M NOT CRAZY, I SAW IT, YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.

Yeah, the flight sucked. 22 hours of being cramped in an economy section of an airplane.

But the fun began immediately after landing.

So far, there's been alot of events with the residential college I'm a part of on campus. We've had a scavenger hunt in Sydney (with public nudity encouraged by the faculty), a huge cardboard fort/water balloon fight, a 12 hour pub crawl, and a harbor cruise! You'll get to see everything soon enufffff.

Also, Australia is filled with burger.

I shall have to assess the situation carefully.

AT ANY RATE, I'll be updating this in either chronological order until I've caught up with all my adventures, or with any particularly cool things I find the day I update.

Classes don't start for a while, so lets chat together!
AIM: Dandy Step
I'm about 17 hours ahead of Chicago time, so plan that shit out dawg.

I'm worried my hiatus has killed any chance of anyone reading this blog ever (forever).

So yeah

2009-02-25T22:21:00.000-08:00

I've been AWOL, due to a combination of logistics and a 12 hour pub crawl.

I'm also on my way to cruise on Sydney Bay (complementary alcohol provided).

Calm yourself, I'll give you a real update when I get back.

For now, here's me playing in a fountain in downtown Sydney with the rest of a dormitory scavenger hunt group.

Oh and also this guy.

It Begins

2009-02-18T23:46:00.000-08:00

Hallo.

I'm studying abroad in Sydney, Australia at the University of New South Wales. No big deal. J/k, it's pretty sweet.

Along the way, age-old questions will be answered.
"Can you scare away a great white shark by punching it in it's nose?"
"Do Australian toilet bowls swirl in the opposite direction?"
"Is it true that Australians only drink snake blood and eat freshly killed animals larger than themselves?"
"Adrian, is it true you can out-box a whole swarm of kangaroos?"

Throughout my journey, all will be revealed.

I invite you to visit this blog often, as it will be updated nearly daily (starting February 22nd) with a photo, drawing, or comic of my adventures.

Please take each tale as you would a dark glass of aged wine. Drink them slowly, and let them intoxicate you.

I present to you Tanklad: Bloodbath in Australia.